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Yo momma's like lettuce, 25 cents per head |
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I heard yo momma got fired from her job at the sperm bank - the boss caught her drinking on the job How can you tell when yo momma's reaches orgasm? The next person in line taps you on the shoulder. How can you tell if a yo momma has been in your refrigerator? By the lipstick on your cucumbers. How can you tell when yo momma is dating? By the buckle print on her forehead. How do you get yo momma pregnant? Cum in her shoes and let the flies do the rest How does yo momma turn the light on after sex? She opens the car door Did you hear what happened to yo momma back in high school when she was a cheerleader and did the splits? 20 class rings fell out. Did you hear yo momma had an appendix operation? Well, now she is making money on the side. I just want to know what crawled up you butt and died I've known roadkill with more charisma, you little piece of rectal discharge 'Scuse me, I can't seem to find my dick. Mind if I look in Yo Mama's mouth?. What did yo momma say when I asked her if she'd ever been picked up by "the fuzz"? "No. But I've been swung around by the tits." What did yo momma say when she gave birth to you? "Are you sure it's mine?" What did yo momma say when she woke up under a cow? What are you guys still doing here? What did yo momma's left leg say to her right leg? Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money. What did yo momma's right leg say to the left leg? Nothing - they've never met. What do they call yo momma on a waterbed? A cherry float What do you call yo momma with a runny nose? Full. What does the Bermuda triangle and yo momma have in common? They've both swallowed a lot of seamen. What does yo momma and a computer have in common? You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you. What does yo momma and a tampon have in common? They are both stuck up cunts. What does yo momma do after she combs her hair? She pulls up her pants. What does yo momma put behind her ears to make herself more attractive? Her ankles. What does yo momma say after multiple orgasms? Way to go team! What does yo momma say when I blow in her ear? "Thanks for the refill" What is the difference between yo momma and The Titanic? They know how many men went down on The Titanic. What's the first thing yo momma does after sex? Opens the car door What's the first thing yo momma learned when she took driving lessons? You can also sit upright in a car. What's the difference between yo momma and a broom closet? Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once. What's the difference between yo momma and a trampoline? You take off your shoes before using a trampoline. What's the difference between yo momma and an ironing board? It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board. What's yo momma's favorite nursery rhyme? Humpme dumpme. When I asked yo momma if she was sexually, she said "No, I just lie there." Why are there lipstick stains on the steering wheel of your momma's car? Because she loves to blow the horn. Why can't yo momma count to 70? Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful Why can't yo momma water-ski? When she gets her crotch wet she thinks she has to lay down. Why did yo momma snort Nutrasweet? She thought it was Diet Coke. Why did your mother stop using birth control pills? Because they kept falling out. Why does yo momma get confused in the ladies room? She has to pull her own pants down. Why does yo momma wear condoms on her ears? Do she won't get hearing aides. Why does yo momma wear panties? To keep her ankles warm. Why does yo momma's car have a sunroof? So she has more legroom Why don't yo momma talk when having sex? Her mother told her not to talk with her mouths full. Why is yo momma nicknamed Twinkie? Because she likes to be filled with cream. Why was yo momma disappointed with her trip to England? She found out Big Ben is only a clock. Why was yo momma not able to become a gymnast? Because when she did the splits, she stuck to the floor. Why will yo momma have a y-shaped coffin? Because as soon as she is on her back, her legs open. Wow that was a low blow! Speaking of low blows how's your mother? Do you know why yo momma wears underwear? To keep her ankles warm. Go scratch your ass with a porcupine. Hey, if I wanted a comeback, I'd just wipe it off yo momma's chin... Yo daddy has to stick his dick in the freezer to get hard Yo daddy suffers from dick-do disease...his stomach hangs out farther than his dick do Yo daddy's dick is so small, he makes yo' momma look hung Yo daddy's dick is so small, he'd been fucking yo' momma for an hour and she asked if it was in yet Yo daddy's like cement, takes him two days to get hard! Yo daddy's so ugly, his own hand turns him down Yo momma is like a frying pan, you have to get her hot before you put in the meat. Yo momma is like a golf course - everybody gets a hole in one! Yo momma is so cheap I threw her a penny for sex and she gave me change... Yo momma is so nasty yo daddy just got out of hospital after eating her out - he caught food poisoning. Yo momma is such a slut she has a sperm count. Yo momma like a mailbox, open all day and all night Yo momma parachutes naked into cornfields Yo momma reminds me of a toilet: short, white, and smells like shit Yo momma sits naked on fire hydrants Yo momma so cheap I threw her a penny for sex and she gave me change Yo momma so slutty she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball Yo momma so slutty she could suck-start a Harley Yo momma so slutty she was on the cover of Wheaties, with her legs open, and it said "breakfast of the champs" Yo momma so slutty that I could've been your daddy, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change. Yo momma so slutty that when she heard Santa Claus say HO HO HO she thought she was getting it three times. Yo momma so slutty when I told her to go get some Head and Shoulders...she jump on top of me Shoulders and gave me head!!! Yo momma took 10 tries to get her drivers license she couldn't get used to the front seat Yo momma's dumb she thinks a sanitary belt is drinking a shot out of a clean glass Yo momma's feet so skanky that when your family wants jam pieces, she gets yo brother to run a loaf of bread between her toes. Yo momma's got sideburns on her tits Yo momma's gots one big titty and one little titty and every one calls her Biggie Smalls Yo momma's has wooden boobs and breast feeds beavers Yo momma's I could have been Yo daddy but the gorilla in front of me in line didn't use a condom Yo momma's is like a carpenters dream, flat as a board and easy to nail Yo momma's is like lettuce, 25 cents per head Yo momma's like a basketball people bounce her a lot Yo momma's like a birthday cake everybody gets a piece Yo momma's like a bowling ball You can fit three fingers in Yo momma's like a bowling ball, she's picked up, fingered, and then thrown in the gutter Yo momma's like a bubblegum machine, five cents a blow Yo momma's like a bus, fifty cents and she's ready to ride Yo momma's like a bus: guys climb on and off her all day long Yo momma's like a Christmas tree; everybody hangs balls on her Yo momma's like a door knob, everybody gets a turn Yo momma's like a fast food restaurant, quick and easy Yo momma's like a gas station, you gotta pay before You pump Yo momma's like a goalie; she changes her pads after three periods Yo momma's like a golf course, everyone GETS a hole in one Yo momma's like a hardware store: 5 cents a screw Yo momma's like a ketchup bottle, everyone gets a squeeze out of her Yo momma's like a light switch, even a little kid can turn her on yo momma's like a nail, she always getting' hammered Yo momma's like a pirate, there she blows Yo momma's like a postage stamp, you lick her, stick her, then send her away Yo momma's like a race car driver, she burns a lot of rubbers Yo momma's like a railroad track; she gets laid all over the country Yo momma's like a refrigerator: everyone likes to put their meat in her Yo momma's like a rifle, 4 cocks and she's loaded Yo momma's like a screen door, after a couple bangs she tends to loosen up Yo momma's like a shotgun, one cock and she blows Yo momma's like a Toyota, OOooh what a feeling Yo momma's like a turtle once, she's on her back she's fucked Yo momma's like a TV even a 2 year old could turn her on Yo momma's like a vacuum cleaner, she sucks and she blows and then gets laid in the closet Yo momma's like a vacuum cleaner...a real good suck Yo momma's like an ice cream cone, everyone gets a lick Yo momma's like Chinese food: sweet sour and cheap Yo momma's like Crazy Eddie; she's practically giving it all away Yo momma's like Denny's...open 24 hours Yo momma's like homework, you do it in your room Yo momma's like Humpty Dumpty, first she gets humped then she gets dumped Yo momma's like lettuce, 25 cents per head Yo momma's like Marky Mark - Good Vibrations Yo momma's like mayonnaise, she spreads easy Yo momma's like Mcdonalds, billions and billions served Yo momma's like Nascar - two rubbers and shes ready to ride Yo momma's like peanut butter, she spreads for bread Yo momma's like potato chips - Fri-to Lay Yo momma's like the dollar store, cheap and always open Yo momma's like the new AOL 9.0: Fast, fun, oh so easy and you get 100 hours FREE Yo momma's like the Pillsbury Doughboy, everyone gets a poke Yo momma's like the railway system, she gets laid all over the country Yo momma's like the Suez Canal - vessels full of Seamen passing through everyday Yo momma's maxi pad so thick she could bend over and deflect bullets Yo momma's said she liked seafood, so I gave her crabs Yo momma's slutty, she's like a Snickers bar packed full with with nuts Yo momma's smells like hot ass on a cold day Yo momma's so big when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings Yo momma's so damn old she used to Gang Bang with the Flintstones and had an affair with Captain Caveman Yo momma's so damn stupid on a job application it said "sex" and she wrote Monday Wednesday and sometimes Friday Yo momma's so dirty she smells like hot ass on a cold day Yo momma's so dumb her idea of safe sex is locking the car doors Yo momma's so dumb I just asked her about her XMen and she said: Well my first baby's daddy was Jimmy and I still see Johnny on Fridays Yo momma's so dumb I told her 2 go fuck herself and she said with what Yo momma's so dumb she gave your uncle a blowjob cause he said it'd help his unemployment Yo momma's so dumb she got fired from a blowjob Yo momma's so dumb she really thought the cinema was selling Free Willies Yo momma's so dumb she saw a wet floor sign and peed on the floor Yo momma's so dumb she thinks fruit punch is a gay boxer Yo momma's so dumb she thinks sexual battery is something in a dildo Yo momma's so dumb she thought gay bashing ment beating up happy people Yo momma's so dumb she thought Grape Nuts was an STD Yo momma's so dumb she used a vibrator for an egg beater Yo momma's so dumb she wiped her ass before she took a shit Yo momma's so dumb the first time she used a vibrator she cracked her two front teeth Yo momma's so dumb when your dad fucked her she said Doesnt it go in my mouth? Yo momma's so easy that when she heard Santa Claus say HO HO HO she thought she was getting it three times Yo momma's so fat I tried to fuck her doggy style but I was just riding piggy back Yo momma's so fat last time she went to Sea World Shamu got a hard on Yo momma's so fat she can't just work one corner she has to work all four Yo momma's so fat she masturbates reading cookbooks Yo momma's so fat she uses a mattress for a maxipad Yo momma's so fat when I have sex with her I have to slap her ass and ride the wave in Yo momma's so fat when I said I wanted Pigs in a blanket she got back in bed Yo momma's so fat when I tried to fuck her I didn't know if I was hitting the hole or a roll Yo momma's so fat when she has sex she has to give directions Yo momma's so fat you have to roll her ass in flour and look for the wet spot to fuck her Yo momma's so hairy my Viagra needed Viagra Yo momma's so hairy when she went to get her haircut she pulled down her skirt and the barber accidentally cut off her pussy Yo momma's so nasty her crabs use her tampon string as a bungee cord Yo momma's so nasty I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection Yo momma's so nasty she brings crabs to the beach Yo momma's so nasty she has a sign by her pussy that says: Warning: May cause irritation drowsiness and a rash or breakouts Yo momma's so nasty she has more crabs then Red Lobster Yo momma's so nasty she went to a hair salon and told the stylist to cut her hair then she opened up her blouse Yo momma's so nasty she's gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh Yo momma's so nasty she's got more clap than an auditorium Yo momma's so nasty that her shit is glad to escape Yo momma's so nasty when I went to your house said what's for dinner jumped up on the table spread her legs and said crabs Yo momma's so nasty when you said what's for dinner? she put her foot up on the table and said corns and spread her legs open and said tuna surprise Yo momma's so old her boobs look like bungee cords Yo momma's so old she got slapped by Eve for blowing Adam Yo momma's so old she made Fred Flintstones bed rock Yo momma's so old she used to gang bang with the Flintstones Yo momma's so old the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment Yo momma's so old when I slapped her on the back her tits fell off Yo momma's so old when I squeezed her tits, cream cheese came out Yo momma's so poor after I pissed in your yard she thanked me for watering the lawn Yo momma's so skinny her bra fits better backwards Yo momma's so skinny her nipples touch Yo momma's so skinny she inspires crack whores to diet Yo momma's so skinny she swallowed a meatball and thought she was pregnant Yo momma's so skinny she uses a BandAid as a maxipad Yo momma's so skinny when she get a afro I use her as a Qtip Yo momma's so slutty I just saw Yo momma's walking down the hall with a mattress straped to her back asking for volunteers Yo momma's so slutty I'd call her a hoe but hoes get paid Yo momma's so slutty she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball Yo momma's so slutty she could suckstart a Harley Yo momma's so slutty that I could've been your daddy but the guy in line behind me had the correct change Yo momma's so slutty when she got a new mini skirt everyone commented on her nice belt Yo momma's so smelly that her shit is glad to escape Yo momma's so smelly that when she spread her legs I got seasick Yo momma's so stinky she can knock a buzzard off a shit wagon Yo momma's so ugly even a blind man wouldn't have sex with her Yo momma's so ugly even Bill Clinton wouldnt sleep with her Yo momma's so ugly her birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory Yo momma's so ugly I can fuck her in any position and its still doggy style Yo momma's so ugly I could have been yo daddy but the dog beat me under the fence Yo momma's so ugly I have to watch your sister undress just to calm down Yo momma's so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound Yo momma's so ugly I heard your father first met her at the Zoo Yo momma's so ugly she can't even bare the thought of masturbating Yo momma's so ugly she could scare the flies off a shit wagon Yo momma's so ugly she couldn't get laid in a prison with a handful of pardons Yo momma's so ugly she got a sex change and the surgeon had to flip a coin Yo momma's so ugly she looks like she got hit with a bag of What the fuck? Yo momma's so ugly she pretends she's someone else when she's having sex Yo momma's so ugly she scared the shit out of the toilet Yo momma's so ugly that she went to the zoo the gorilla said fuck me, fuck me Yo momma's so ugly when yo father is having sex with her he puts two bags on her head in case one of them breaks Yo momma's so ugly Yo fathers breath smells like shit cause he'd rather kiss her ass Yo momma's The difference between your momma and 747: not everyones been on a 747 Yo momma's tits are so droopy she tripped on them Yo momma's was born they had to take her out of the trash can cause doctor said Throw this shit away Yo momma's wears kneepads and yells Curb Service Yo momma's You were born out of your mothers ass because her cunt was too busy Yo momma's a chicken coop - cocks flyin' in and out all day. Yo momma's drawers are so nasty, the roaches check in, but they don't check out Yo momma's has the whitest teeth I've ever come across Yo momma's is like a racing car...chick burned four rubbers in one night. Yo momma's like a 747 - a 3 man cock pit! Yo momma's like a birthday cake, everybody gets a piece. Yo momma's like a Bowling Ball - she gets picked up, fingered, thrown into the gutter, yet she still comes back for more. Yo momma's like a bowling ball, You can fit three fingers in. Yo momma's like a bubble-gum machine... five cents a blow. Yo momma's like a bus - only 50 pence a ride Yo momma's like a bus: Guys climb on and off her all day long. Yo momma's like a Christmas tree; everybody hangs balls on her. Yo momma's like a door knob, everybody gets a turn. Yo momma's like a fine restaurant - she only take deliveries in rear. Yo momma's like a gas station - You gotta pay before you pump Yo momma's like a goalie; she changes her pads after three periods. Yo momma's like a golf course, everyone gets a hole in one! Yo momma's like a hardware store - only 5 cents a screw. Yo momma's like a Hoover - she sucks, blows, and finally gets laid back in the closet. Yo momma's like a library - open to the public. Yo momma's like a light switch, even a little kid can turn her on. Yo momma's like a postage stamp, You lick her, stick her, then send her away. Yo momma's like a race car driver...she burns a lot of rubbers. Yo momma's like a railroad track; she gets laid all over the country. Yo momma's like a refrigerator: everyone likes to put their meat in her! Yo momma's like a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded. Yo momma's like a Scooter - everybody ridin her but nobody admitting it Yo momma's like a screen door, after a couple bangs she tends to loosen up! Yo momma's like a shot gun, two cocks and she blows! Yo momma's like a squirrel - she always got some nuts in her mouth. Yo momma's like a tomato source bottle, everyone gets a squeeze out of her! Yo momma's like a Toyota: "Oh what a feelin'!" Yo momma's like a TV, even a 2 year old could turn her on Yo momma's like a vaccuum cleaner.....a real good suck. Yo momma's like an arcade machine - dirty, smelly, costs 20 pence and lasts 30 seconds Yo momma's like an ATM machine - open 24 hours. Yo momma's like an elevator - blokes go up and down on her all day. Yo momma's like an ice cream cone... everyone gets a lick. Yo momma's like chinese food: sweet, sour and cheap! Yo momma's like Crazy Eddie; she's practically giving it all away. Yo momma's like Denny's...open 24 hours. Yo momma's like homework, you do it in your room Yo momma's like Marky Mark - Good Vibrations Yo momma's like McDonalds... Billions and Billions served. Yo momma's like mustard, she spreads easy. Yo momma's like Orange Crush: "Good Vibrations!" Yo momma's like peanut butter -- oh so smooth, creamy, and easy to spread. Yo momma's like Pizza Hut - not there in 30 minutes...it's free. Yo momma's like potato chips-- Fri-to Lay Yo momma's like the Bermuda Triangle, they both swallow a lot of seamen. Yo momma's like the Pillsbury dough boy - everybody loves to poke her Yo momma's like the railway system, she gets laid all over the country Yo momma's so dumb she put a phone up her ass and thought she was making a booty call Yo momma's so fat when I climbed up on top of her I burned my ass on the light bulb Yo momma's so fat your daddy had to roll her in flour and look for the wet spot Yo momma's so hairy she has afros on her nipples Yo momma's so hairy she looks like she's giving birth to Don King Yo momma's so hairy when you were born you almost died of rug burn Yo momma's so hairy, if I shaved her legs, I could supply wigs for the Yo momma's so hairy, it looks like she has Don King in a head-lock! Yo momma's so hairy, she beats her chest after sex! Yo momma's so hairy, she shaves with a weed whacker! Yo momma's so hairy, she uses a lawn mower to shave her armpits! Yo momma's so hairy, she's got afros on her breasts! Yo momma's so hairy, you almost died of rug burn at birth! Yo momma's so nasty her tits give sour milk Yo momma's so nasty she bought her boyfriend kneepads for Christmas Yo momma's so nasty she pours salt water in her drawers to keep the crabs alive Yo momma's so nasty when she did the splits she stuck to the floor Yo momma's so nasty, a skunk smelled her ass and passed out. Yo momma's so nasty, even the fishery paid her to leave! Yo momma's so nasty, flies land on her picture! Yo momma's so nasty, her crabs use her tampon string as a bungee cord. Yo momma's so nasty, her tits give sour milk. Yo momma's so nasty, I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection. Yo momma's so nasty, I talked to her over the computer and she gave me a virus. Yo momma's so nasty, lice visit her on their vacations! Yo momma's so nasty, she brings crabs to the beach! Yo momma's so nasty, she calls Janet "Miss Jackson." Yo momma's so nasty, she got more clap than an auditorium. Yo momma's so nasty, she has a sign by her pussy that says: "Warning: May cause irritation, drowsiness, and a rash or breakouts." Yo momma's so nasty, she has a sign over her pussy that says "Crabs: All U Can Eat" Yo momma's so nasty, she has more crabs then Red Lobster. Yo momma's so nasty, she has to use Black Flag for a deodorant! Yo momma's so nasty, she uses Drain-o to douche! Yo momma's so nasty, she's got more clap than an auditorium. Yo momma's so nasty, the Nat'l Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts! Yo momma's so nasty, they call her Norelco... Home of the triple head. Yo momma's so nasty, when I went to yo house said what's for dinner, yo mama put her foot up on the table and said "Corn!" Yo momma's so nasty, when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama jumped up on the table, spread her legs, and said "crabs!" Yo momma's so nasty, when she did the splits, she stuck to the floor. Yo momma's so nasty, while you were being delivered, the doctor was Yo momma's so nearsighted she propositions statues Yo momma's so old her tits squirt out powderd milk Yo momma's so slutty she has the golden arches tattooed on her ass...billions and billions served. Yo momma's so slutty she's like potato chips, she is fri-to-lay! Yo momma's so slutty that in sex-ed class in High School she was the homework. Yo momma's so stanky when she takes a dump the shit is glad to escape. You liked that mama joke didn't ya? Good?...well, nowhere near as good as yo momma was last night You need to tell yo momma to stop wearing blue lipstick, I got balls like a Smurf now. You were born out of your mother's ass 'cos her cunt was too busy. |
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